Floral Tumblr Themes

i might just have a little obsession with flowers

phobias:

my interests range from cute puppy’s to hard core sex

baby: t- t-
parents: the baby's first words!
baby: t- thh- th-
parents: three??? thing???
baby: t- tha- tha-
baby: That’s right, I am Kira. And what can you do? Kill me right here? Hear this: I’m not only Kira, but I’m also God of the new world. Kira has become law in the world we now live. He’s the one who’s maintaining order. I have become justice, the only hope for mankind. Kill me? Is that really the right thing to do? Since Kira’s appearance six years ago, wars have stopped and global crime rates have been reduced by over 70%, but it’s not enough! This world is still rotten… with too many rotten people…. Somebody has to do this! And when I first got that notebook all those years ago, I knew I had to do it—no, I was the only one who could! I understood that killing people was a crime. THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY! THE WORLD HAD TO BE FIXED! A purpose given to me! Only I could do it! Who else could’ve done it and come this far?! WOULD THEY’VE KEPT GOING?! … The only one… who can create a new world… is me…

staff:

fake-mermaid:

i’m so sorry but if you have “works at tumblr” on your facebook profile no hard feelings man but stay as far away from me as u possibly can

rude

silversora:

Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead

guy:

*blows up balloon* *names it molly* *pops molly* turn up

ruinedchildhood:

teacher: wheres your homework?

me: image

teacher: excuse me???

me: image

me: my arm hurts
mom: it's the computer
me: my eyes hurt
mom: it's the computer
me: i have a nosebleed
mom: it's the computer
me: i have a fever
mom: are you sure it's not the heat from the computer
me: im pregnant
mom: it's the computer
me: i fell down the stairs & hurt my tailbone
mom: the computer pushed you didnt it

rotten-tears:

friendshipisalpaca:

rotten-tears:

what the heckies does “:3c” means

image

OOOOOH

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

chepibola:

when my mum scolds me

image

gamercrunch:

Found this ad in a Nickelodeon magazine from 2004.

gamercrunch:

Found this ad in a Nickelodeon magazine from 2004.

artistic-rising-demon:

justaddfiction:

castielsconvictions:

rifa:

shank-flank:

elysethekraken:

gogomoth:

nope im not a fully grown adult sir, no sir

SHOUT-OUT TO ALL MY FRIENDSHIPS ON TUMBLR WITH TEENAGERS

YOU ALL HAVE BETTER BLOGS THAN I DO

YOU ARE THE FUTURE AND I AM OKAY WITH THAT

‘omg I love you you are so kind and aaaaah how old are you’

‘16 how old are you?’

‘2-23…’

I think this when I’m chatting with people on here and then look at their blog description and its like ‘16/17’ and I’m like holy shit you are the same age as my baby sister what the hellllll

Yeah but for those of us who have older tumblr friends, thank.

speaking as a 17 year old, trust me when i say it means a lot when 20-somethings on tumblr treat us with respect and take us seriously because god knows no one else older than us does

Yes I second this

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom